Hi everyone

When we're challenged greatly by life I think it's only natural for us to feel weak and tested. And maybe it is a test, and maybe the result of that test doesn't come from endless nights with dry cheeks and false smiles. Maybe it all comes down to how hard we tried. That we made it. That we survived. Maybe we don't have to make everything perfect to be winners. Maybe a little belief in life and most importantly in ourselves will shelter us enough from the storm to get us through.

Looking back at my life, I have so many things I feel like I could have done better. Things I feel like I could have prevented or people I wished I could have saved. I greatly believe that if life kicks your ass, then kick it back, right in its lifey balls! But sometimes I wish I could do the very opposite. Just put my arms around life and hold it really close. Not asking it why it keeps on hurting me or how I can get it to slow down. Just hold it...and be thankful that it's in my arms.
Life doesn't have to be perfect, neither do we. I think our biggest strength is the way we can love, the way we can believe.
And I also believe that you have to in many ways create and contribute to the world you WANT to live in. When people say that happiness is 90 percent in your mind I believe them. Our mind, our hearts and souls are so much stronger than we think. Using only those three things we can forgive, move on, find hope, love and smile...And that's all that really matters. The darkness and the storm is there so that we can appreciate those calm mornings when the sun wakes us by gently kissing our cheeks. We might be woken with a bit of messy hair and torn up clothes from the night's storm, but we're still alive. Still smiling. And if you're ready to kiss the sun back with bruised eyes and dusty knees, then nothing can kill your soul...

I now finally have some time to feature some lovely artworks that I love here! I want to show you some very special pieces before that have been made as gifts or dedication to me and they mean so much.

















And here some other gorgeous artwork:

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Soul peachy stamps:

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Edit:

I woke up today to my second Daily Devotion, I'm beyond happy, and so honored! This entire place is filled to the limits with stunning art, and to have someone consider me worthy of having a DD is an incredible feeling.
Thank you everyone that has been supporting me, it means the world to me, thank you thank you

I'm also still taking commissions, like I wrote before I'm not setting a price, this is more to keep me busy while saving a little money, it's not about making big bucks.
Please note me if you're interested and we will figure something out.


Old journal:

I want to start of by thanking each and everyone of you who have supported me during these very hard months for me. When you're at the bottom, there's only one way to go, right? I aim for that "up" right now, so strongly.

It has now been a week since I let my dog go. One of the hardest weeks of my life. I have also been back and forward to the hospital, taking tests and talking to doctors and they suspect something is wrong with my liver. I am hoping and praying that the bad results is coming from my surgery and will be back to normal but I'm also preparing for something worse. I have been healing very good from the surgery but there's things that my body will never completely heal from and I accepted that as well.

I have decided to keep busy now, that's why I'm going to start taking commissions. I am also saving up for a memorial for my dog and I do not have the money I need. I don't want any donations, I want to work for the money I need. Art is something I do every day, something to keep me happy and sane. If I could afford it, I would without a doubt work for free. I also have way too much free time at the moment, I am taking care of my mom and can't work or go to school right now, and the time goes by way too slowly when you're hurting.

I am not going to set up a price for commissions, I am very aware that we all have different economies, most of us struggle. If you would like me to commission something for you, I will gladly talk about the price and we will go after what you're able to pay. It does not have to be much. You have very big freedom with the price. You are free to decide everything or to give me free hands. As you may have noticed, I paint most of my pictures, but if you want more of a photo manipulation or a special kind of painting please let me know. I mostly paint in corel painter and they give you tons of freedom to both choose style and brushes. I also paint part of it on real paper/canvas and then scan it in, so I mix traditional and digital media. You can pick oil, water color, cartoon like, anything you want. If you want a commission made from your personal pictures/picture that is perfectly fine as well. Maybe of a pet or family member. If you have a special idea in mind, don't hesitate to let me know. With your permission I will put it up here (never sold as prints or anything) but you can also choose to keep it only for yourself. I will be sending you the big original file and if you want anything changed on the finished picture after i'm done, or if you aren't happy with it, I will of course fix it, or even make you a new one.


With this I'm hoping to get a little more busy and to buy a memorial for my dog in the near future. My mom told me when I was very little and drawing at the floor with my tears running from my face that there's nothing that heals an artist heart quite like creating...and she was so right.

Once again, thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart. I would have gone crazy if I didn't have this place and amazing people around me.


*Big hugs*


Jess






Soul peachy stamps:

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Wow this year has kicked my butt more than I thought was possible. It's the first day of a new year and today is going to be one of the worst days of my life. I have to put my darling dog to sleep after 13 years, and having grown up with him. This has been one of the hardest choices me and my family ever had to make, and while it feels like my entire soul is screaming no, i can't let him go....my heart knows, deep inside, that I must. For his sake. He's not happy anymore, he's miserable and he's suffering. I think the angels are calling him. So now I'm sitting here and counting down the hours, the seconds, the moments. I haven't cried this hard in a long time and it feels like every moment is a constant fight for breath.
All i want is for him to be happy and if it means having to let him go, I must do that. I'm going to hold him in my arms while they give him the shot, I'm going to hold him and whisper to him how I will never let him go and how much I love him. I remember when he came to us, I was still so young and it was the year before my dad passed away. He saved me from so much hurt. Tried to kiss every tear away. and now it's my turn to do the same to him.
I love you sweetest angel, I always will...






Soul peachy stamps:

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I want to wish everyone a happy holiday and a wonderful new year! May next year be a new start and bring more wonderful gifts to your lives.
I also want to thank everyone for your support and kindness during this hard time for me and i'm happy to say that i'm healing more every single day!

Please take care of you and your loved ones and enjoy this beautiful time. Christmas is not about gifts or stress, atleast it shouldn't be. It's about celebrating life and each other, to see how blessed we are. And to pinch santa's red tushie!

Big hugs to everyone!!!!

Jess






Soul peachy stamps:

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The reason i'm writing this is to give everyone a reminder of just how precious life is and how quick it can be taken away from us.
I almost died a few nights ago. I was rushed to the hospital with stomach pains so powerful i couldn't keep from fainting every five minutes. I have had these attacks for many months but ignored them every single time. A week ago it got so serious I didn't know what to do with myself, it just wouldn't go away and both my mom and boyfriend begged me to call an ambulance. It took them 3 days to get me to listen, that's how intense my fear of hospitals is, i can't even take a shot without crying (yes i'm a wimp)
The days that followed was some of the worst days of my life, the emotional pain was even worse than the rest, the thing that messed me up the most was how quick everything went, how I was rushed down to emergency surgery, how they didn't even have time to wait for my medication to kick in before starting to put tubes inside of me and how they told me when I woke up that I was moments away from death. They had to go in and reposition most of the organs in my stomach, they turned me upside down and then removed my gall bladder that was so inflamed and filled with stones that it was moments away from exploding and could have killed me within minutes. The passages in my body were so blocked with stones they had to cut them open and fill them with air to keep them from exploding with the gall bladder. When I woke up I had five holes in my stomach, tubes everywhere and blood and god knows what else leaking everywhere. I couldn't feel my legs or anything below my waist, half my face was paralyzed and I couldn't see with one eye and hardly breathe. This recovery is gonna take a very long time and we still don't know what things will be permanent or not but the main thing is that I came out alive. We always think these things never happen to us and that the odds of that terrible stomach pain that won't go away or that stubborn head ache can't possibly be anything dangerous. But when it comes to the most precious thing we have, life itself, we can not afford to take any chances. Do not ignore the warning signs and listen to your body when it's trying to tell you that something is wrong. I didn't and almost paid with my life. There's no such thing as being too cautious, most things, when discovered in time, can be fixed. But the longer you wait the more dangerous it will get. I waited out of fear but also because i was so sure it would go away and that I had far too many things in my life happening and really couldn't deal with anything else right now.
I'm ready for my recovery, I actually took two steps myself today. My brother let me borrow his laptop so I can even make my pictures, I am so thankful for that, it keeps me sane right now. I have some amazing people around me to help me too, and I could not be more grateful to be alive. I'm on an emotional roller coaster but more than anything I am so darn happy to have opened my eyes. When they rushed me down to surgery I was so sure I wouldn't wake up again.
I wasen't ready to go, I have so much more life to explore...to live. This is just the beginning...






Soul peachy stamps:

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